The Truth About Your Twenties, Five Lessons Learnt

First of all, how the hell did I even get here?! This is the last year in my twenties and I am reflecting on the path my life has taken.

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I was JUST an undergrad looking at a bright clear future of where my life was heading. I had clear timelines of how I’d spend the rest if my twenties and I was so sure and happy about it. Let’s see: At age 24 I’d have a career starting in the Criminal Justice field; a fresh face with a lot of potential, at 25 I’d be on the rise making all the money I envisioned after going to school and getting higher education like ‘they’ assured will be the only way to go. Between 28 and 29 I would have travelled a whole lot and seen enough that I’d be okay with settling down and finding a husband to start my little picket fence family like ‘they’ say is the way life should go. That way by 30 I will be that established boss of a woman that I worked so hard to build will all my ducks in a row.

Now rewind….like go all the way back to me graduating at 24. Listen, nothing went according to plan I was definitely in a bubble and didn’t realize that life takes a lot of unexpected turns – adulthood is different and I was not mentally prepared. We are definitely spoiled in the Caribbean! Between 18 – 23 no one really see you as an adult to begin with; we get spoiled with being under our parents’ wings much longer than usual   (please note that it does not stop further into adulthood).

I digress….

As I was saying, my twenties absolutely did not go according to my plan. I booked a ticket to England my last year of school on a whim, and six months before my trip I found out I was pregnant. My emotions were up in the air both from being pregnant and because my life plan started to go left. I still travelled at five months pregnant and enjoyed the hell out of that trip alone. I am still peeping out the window for the fast blossoming career I envisioned. This is where lessons were learnt. When we are busy making our own plans God laughs at us. Sitting back I have come to realize five important things:

  1. Things do not always go according to plan

While I thought my life plan was perfect, the way things fell in to place was different but good nevertheless. The road to life accomplishments have numerous paths and I have learnt that diversion is okay. It is never an easy pill to swallow to see things take a different turn, diversion comes with sadness, resentment, anger, and much more emotions that you are entitled to feel.

  1. Success comes in different walks

If the fact that 4 year old kids are playing with toys on YouTube and making more money than you isn’t humbling then I don’t know what is! I admire people with talent- craftsmen, dancers, singers- artists of all kind. Damn I wish I had some of those talents. Tertiary education is important, but so is trade, there are many routes to success. Finding your strength and passion and building on it matters the most. I don’t know about you but I am thankful for good music to get lost in.

  1. Stop comparing

Yeah yeah we have heard it a million times “comparison is the thief of joy” but listen, this is a fact! Raise your hand if you have ever compared yourself to someone else. Social media can definitely make you feel like you are ten steps behind. Truth is, everyone easily share their wins – losses are hidden. We see it all the time, the peak of the social media influencers’ life is displayed and the moment they face hardship they disappear without warning.  All of a sudden they want their privacy to be respected. We on season three of your life and we want answers *grabs popcorn*!

  1. Protect your inner peace

Nothing will be able to phase you that deeply when you are in a mentally peaceful place in your life! To ensure your peace of mind, choose your crowd wisely.

  1. Know your worth

This is definitely not limited to women only! You tolerate a lot less crap when you know what you deserve. What is of value to you, may not hold value to someone else and that okay; know when it’s time to move on.

 

To sum up the truth about my twenties, life is a host of unexpected turns and I am exactly where I need to be at this time…

Sincerely, Tee

A Slap in the Face

That’s what you get for showing a little love…

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I have gotten bitten in the face here and there also. Oh, and he thinks its funny! My 2-year-old sure has a special way of saying ” I love you too” when he’s not up for using his words lol. If you have a toddler this may not be new to you.

While hitting is not condoned; not even for a toddler, persons show their love in different ways.

How do you show your kids love? These are 5 ways I say “I love you” to my not-so baby:

  1. I comfort him when he is hurt
  2. I say ‘No’ when necessary
  3. I correct him even though I know he have a meltdown
  4. I brush his teeth even when he gives me a hard time
  5. I simply tell him I love him – He says it back most times lol

Adults have problems expressing their emotions, therefore we cannot expect children to be verse in that area. While it can be difficult to be patient with your tantrum- throwing toddler * breathes in and out* just know that they are people too; little ones.

There are quite a lot of times that I cannot stifle my laughter when my child does something ridiculous. This weekend, he decided to pee in bucket while waiting to take a bath. At least he knows that something need to be there catch the pee and it does not go on the floor right?!

How can you not love kids? Even with the tantrums ever so often I love being a mama to my tiny human.

Let us know what you do to show your kids love!

Sincerely, Tee

You Keep Missin’ the Moment

Maybe I will be happier when I get a better job…

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I think only when I move out on my own I will be able to focus on myself…

Not now, maybe in a couple of years when everything is exactly where I want it…

Are you hearing yourself?

Postponing your happiness, Delaying your dreams, putting off your desires. You really believe that your heart will be content in another moment?

Do not EVER make that mistake!

There will always be something else; another desire, another materialistic item, another relationship. If you keep postponing your happiness what will become of your life? Spending your life constantly waiting for another moment to be truly satisfied.

Looking back will be full of regrets. You would have missed the blessings of living in the moment and living with countless memories of always wanting to be somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else.

The best feeling is forgetting that huge to-do list that will annoy you tomorrow and living your best life NOW!

Live in the now, tomorrow God’s willing will be there for you to conquer.

Sincerely, Tee

My Kid has no Chill…NONE

I kid you not, I think he will run away if I do not chase after him!

wild child

Toddler (definition): a little human placed on earth to test your patience and make a mess.

Parenthood has definitely changed me . I remember spending all of my free time sleeping, changing my hair ever so often, and shopping ; prior to motherhood.  If only I can have an uninterrupted minute nowadays.

K: “Mummy”

K: “Mummy”

K: “Mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!”

Me: “Yes Kael”

K: “Uppppp”

Me: “But I don’t want to get up right now, I want to be lazy”

Try telling that to a toddler who wants you to go outside with him to pick up his car that he threw out the window, along with most of his other toys.

Is this how all toddlers behave? Is my toddler just extra? Is it normal to have an energy filled, mess making, patience testing, little human that you love so much send you a bit crazy? I am starting to think that I got the no-chill kid.

Don’t get me wrong, my kid is awesome! He is the most loving, brave, adventurous child. But dang, it’s a lot of work trying to keep up.

Maybe its me and not him. Maybe he thinks I am an impatient, afraid of a little mess, not energized enough big human here to restrain his fun lol.

I am laughing writing this because I love all of it. I cannot imagine life not having my NO-CHILL little human! His cute mischief smile puts a smile on my face all the time. This stage will only last for so long, plus there is the terrible 2’s they call it right? We are approaching that so wish us luck!

What is your toddler’s personality? Share with us and let us know that we are not going a bit crazy alone….

Sincerely, Tee

Who is willing to wait?

We see it all the time, the black woman supporting her man, waiting for him to rise above trials. She is patient , loving, adds no pressure, and settles for the same damn dinner every night.

Men love this, their woman waiting while they get their shit together.

Sometimes however the men are prepared, their ducks are in a row while they meet a woman who is getting her life together……

How many men wait with the same loving attitudes?

Often times women are discouraged, complained about, and even ridiculed by their men for their process, their process of self fulfillment. They are seen as financial burdens, not attentive enough, and wasting time.

Is a black woman on the rise too much?

The answer is NO! You are worth it, You are amazing, and You will succeed!

This goes for all women.

Sincerely, Tee